Taking Risk is less riskier

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Do you think the people who were trying to reach to the Everest were not full of doubts? For a hundred years, how many people tried and how many people lost their lives? Do you know how many people never came back? But, still, people come from all over the world, risking, knowing they may never return. For them it is worth it – because in the very risk something is born inside of them: the center. It is born only in the risk. That’s the beauty of risk, the gift of risk.

Osho

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Amma the AGM

Written by my bro on the occasion of mom’s retirement after 36 years of service in Federal Bank.

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Dearest Mummy Sir,

Do you remember , how Michelle spontaneously started calling you Mummy Sir after watching you at work in the bank .  There will be no grandmother in the world being addressed so- Mummy Sir. Lucky you. 

Some days ago, when we were talking about your farewell, it stuck us – how do we imagine amma  without federal bank. Its unimaginable!   The bank was so much of a part of our lives, that this farewell seems so surreal . 

So we thought . Let’s  walk down the memory lane and bring out those little cherished moments from our life . Surprisingly , its all crystal clear in my mind,  though some dates back 20+ years.

First thing I can relate from childhood is the frequent change of our schools- Thanks to your transfer every 3 years.  Its still so vivid , those Days , when we used to come over from the school to nellikunnu branch, go along with timothy chettan across the street, grab  watermelon juice- Sit impatiently till your work gets over, and then head back home late evening . I used to think back then – never end up in banking field. Its a never ending job and you are never home before 8 .  But look at the funny side of fate. I ended up writing software for banks. So I guess banking is in our blood. 

What’s the biggest disadvantage of having both parents as bank managers? – child will never learn to write a check or draw a DD . Everything related to banking is done by parents .  And added to the misery, people will expect child to know by default all nuances of banking 🙂 . We were no different. Though online banking has made it fantastically convenient now. 

How much we missed you Mummy when you were away in the bank trainings -whether in Pune or Aluva . I can see myself as a 9 year old , gleaming with pure joy when I saw you returning from one such training which lasted for a week. And you never forgot to get us toys even on such trips.  

It’s those little things that keeps you apart Amma. Your energy in getting everything done , whether it’s in managing a Rs 100 Cr portfolio, or getting a Rs 100 gift for your grand son .

Federal bank has been always an extended family . Your genuine colleagues and friends are going to miss being around you. I am sure amma, for hundreds of women in the bank, you are the epitome of success .Taking along family and work in harmony.Strong in both the worlds. Giving priority to both as needed . I can proudly say amma – they don’t make woman like you anymore. 

If there was one such thing we’ve learnt from you and dad – give your 100% at work and in life .  Had daddy been with you today, he would have quoted below from Baghvadh Gita . 

Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana – 

“You have a right to perform your prescribed action,but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities,and never be associated to not doing your duty.”

You and daddy taught the value of making choices in one’s life . You exhibited honor in your profession and never succumbed to temptations of easy money. Those values did matter Amma. As kids, it increased our belief in leading an honorable life and career . 

The trust you had in us and freedom you provided to us and I am sure to your coworkers as well , instilled confidence , built a sense of responsibility and nurtured our growth. 

Amma, When you stand at the finishing point of a 35 year marathon, you can Look back , take a bow and be proud of leading a fantastic career and living your dream all along . You are the best mother, grand mother , mother in law , wife, friend and boss ! This is not the end . Your journey had just begun – Wish and pray that  the next phase of your life will be adventurous and fulfilling , just like the one you had ..

Love , 

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Yours truly in ‘Entrepreneur’ Magazine

Yours truly in 'Entrepreneur' Magazine

August-12 came with a good news of us winning CNBC-Samsung Innovation Quotient. Now that gave an entry to ‘Entrepreneur’ magazine for the first time. Sweet 😉

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Realize. Now.

In 100 years you and everyone you know are going to be dead. Your great-grandkids aren’t going to get misty-eyed remembering how you got that quarterly bonus or a corner office. This is your life and every breath you take is killing you. Make it worth.

Via: http://postmasculine.com/kill-your-day-job

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Love is never a relationship

“Relationship means something complete, finished, closed. Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues. It is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun. And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? – because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security, relationship has a certainty. Relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say good-bye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun. 

“You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate. 

“In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating, not a relationship. And I am not saying that their love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love may last longer than your so-called relationship ever lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman.” 

– osho

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Blinkastic

I dont remember how many times have I read Gladwell’s BLINK. Is it coz of its lovely, beautiful cover or its gripping, realistic content…hmm, may be both. However, can say with conviction that this book have been a life changer.

See, Take a sip and if you like this taste…don’t forget to drink the whole can…its worth it 😉

 

 

Thin-slicing is the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behavior based on very narrow slices of experience.

It is striking how many different professions and disciplines have a word to describe the particular gift of reading deeply into the narrowest slivers of experience. In basketball we call it “court sense”, and in the military we say generals have “coup d’oeil” or power of the glance. Others usually refers to it as gut feel, instinct, a knowing, intuition, instinct, a hunch, an inkling etc..

The problem with snap decision or rapid cognition is that it takes place behind alocked door. We know certain things, but we just don’t know how we know. It is difficult to find out what people really think. This is because we don’t know why we like certain things and not others. Rapid cognition occurs behind a locked door. We know something but we don’t necessarily know why.

The more expertise we have, the more accurate our snap decisions are. We have all our experience and knowledge in a storeroom called the unconscious. We don’t realize it, but we use this information all the time when making decisions. So next time you just know something but can’t give a reason, consider that your unconscious made the decision for you.

De mello

wish some day I’d be able to live like this thought…

I have no fear of losing u, for you aren’t an object of my property, or anyone else’s.

I love you as you are, without attachment, without fears, without conditions, without egoism, trying not to absorb you.

I love you freely because I love your freedom, as well as mine.”

– Fr. Anthony de Mello

A Lovely Homily

This is a homily given by my uncle, Fr. Stephen on occasion of a Commemorative Mass for his late friend. Found it very touching and thoughtful. Hence sharing it.

Introduction:

–  the enviable passing away of Fr Elias… living life to the full, and in harness till the end – an end that I would pray for myself…

– Let us begin this Mass with a moment or two in silent prayer thanking God for this wonderful person that we have known and loved, who touched our lives in unique ways, shared our company and made us grow…

Homily:

… What do we do when we reminisce over a human life?

–  When we remember someone, we emphasize the good memories, and we celebrate…

–  A practice of the Mercy Sisters in the States that I always liked to attend – the ‘wake’ with the body of the deceased Sister in the Church or in a hall, sitting around with friends and family, just recalling and sharing incidents (mostly funny and thought provoking) about the deceased person – it was always a collective celebration of a life, and it always provided a sense of closure to a life in community that had touched so many other lives.

– It underlined the fact that every life is to be celebrated.

– It underlined the fact that, whether pauper or prince, bid daddy or a small fry, we are all headed to the same reward – death is a great leveller.

… In this context, I often think about the parable of the labourers in the vineyard

– The ones who get paid equal amounts regardless of their hours of work… points to the fact that we do not as yet have any idea of what God has in store for us; and, more importantly, that we do not earn it – ALL is grace!

– Over there on the other shore, I believe…

– Talents or lack of it don’t really matter;

– Colour certainly will not be an issue;

– Manmade categories of tribe and ethnicity definitely won’t find a place there;

– Power and positions and influence won’t mean a thing;

– Reward and punishment may not be after all so opposed to each other as here on earth…

… I guess we will need a new theology to think along those lines…

… How would I like to remember Fr Elias?

– with two images…

– The first in 1963 leading us early morning from Mawlai to the Cathedral on a cold wintry morning for the funeral mass for Fr Matha who had drowned at Raliang – we were the choir, and a good one at that. I can still recall him collecting the frost from the small wooden bridge in front of present St Anthony’s College and shoving it down our collars to make us walk fast and catch up with him…

– The last just two months ago at my birthday supper at Azara, relishing the dinner that we had, enjoying the light banter with the us and the Archbishop, and taking from me two recent books to read – he kept alive that habit of reading and updating himself to the end…

– and, with some vivid, pleasant and grateful memories…

– I remember him… as someone who touched my life in the most impressionable years and left an impact that has lasted a lifetime (I was just 12 when I came into contact with him… He had been ordained a year earlier and had just taken over as our Prefect of Studies). He is one of those persons that I thank God for… for bringing him into my life.

– I remember him… as someone in whom I saw an abundance of the type of talents that would stand me in good stead as a religious and a Salesian – cultured behaviour, pride in oneself, ability to inspire others (in music, on the play fields, in the classroom)…

I remember him… as someone who inspired me to excel in what I was good at, and try my hand at those things that I was deficient in… There were ample opportunities for both in Juniorate those days.

I remember him… as someone who kept telling me that there is more I could do than I was actually doing, who introduced me to the idea of tapping unrealized potential early in life.

I remember him… as someone who, even in his last years, made light of his ailments and aches and pains, and went about his tasks with an evident zest for life.

I remember him… as someone who, in these last years at Maligaon, would come over to Azara whenever we asked him to, to talk to us, to hear our confessions, to encourage us with our work and our dreams, to share a glass of wine and talk of the good old days. He seemed to enjoy doing that… the last time, as I said, was just three weeks before he died, towards the end of November.

… In brief, I thank God for having brought him into my life, leaving some footprints there…

and a concluding thought for ourselves

…. If we can celebrate a life once it has passed away, and feel good about it…

– Why is it that we are so reluctant to do that when persons are alive?

– Why is it that issues like positions and colour and ethnicity blind us to the basic human goodness that we all share?

– Why is it that we allow harsh judgements and criticisms to colour our relationships?

– Why is it that we nurse hurts, real and imagined, and allow them to poison our days and traumatize our nights?

– Why is it that we prefer to hide in the shadows and mutter under our breath rather than celebrate life and love in the light?

… Give it a thought…  may be we need a new theology for that too!

… or, may be just a change in vision and perspective?